Matthew Warner

Everyday fears

The New Years season is a time of optimism and renewal, but I have to confess these days to having a small host of anxieties.  I mean, they aren’t eating me up or anything, but these little, everyday things often preoccupy me:

  • Is my son, Owen, warm enough at night?  Is he getting enough to eat?
  • What if something happened to me or Deena, and he was left without a father or mother?
  • One day Owen will have a driver’s license, and then I’ll be worried about him dying in a car accident.  (And why am I worrying about stuff like this before it’s time?)
  • Owen’s head is still big and fragile, and I just know I’m going to accidentally brain him on a door frame one day.
  • What if the U.S. government defaults on its debt and goes belly up?
  • Will I stay healthy and live to an old age?
  • Will Owen be able to protect himself from all the screwballs of the world?
  • Will the publishing industry ever resume taking chances on midlist writers?

And, of course, my number-one preoccupation:

  • Will the News Leader ever become a good newspaper?

I would much rather have anxieties concerning the meaning of existence.  (Will Ludwigsen has an entertaining blog post today about cosmic horror that’s worth reading.)

I guess this is all part and parcel of being a new father.  In the meantime, all I can do is prepare the best I can: buy insurance, exercise, save money, and enroll the boy in a decent martial arts program once he’s old enough.